At a Loss, But Gain!

I Love Conflict!

Written by Corae Young

July 10, 2024

I was not always the best when it came to handling conflict. In previous years, I would grow frustrated, and irritated, and respond out of emotions in many situations. It wasn’t healthy for me, and it was unproductive in the situation. Oftentimes, the way I handled that conflict led to more conflict and a breakdown in communication. While I was passionate about the situation, my passion came out as aggression and I didn’t handle it well.

As I mature both in my spiritual and natural progression, I am learning how to respond and not react. I am learning that oftentimes the initial thoughts may not be the appropriate statements to say in that moment. I have learned how to respond when the situation is appropriate, when both parties can be understood. This has taken time and maturity for me to learn, and I’m still learning.

However, I see many times in leadership, we don’t do well with conflict. We would rather avoid it than address it. We try to talk around the situation instead of discussing the root issues. We pretend the conflict doesn’t exist. Instead of having a discussion about it, we hope that the situation will “blow over,” but all it really does is compound and fester into additional issues. Avoidance brings more division and more conflict.

Leaders have to find ways to build bridges and not divide. We have to seek the skills needed to manage conflict in the spaces we’re responsible. We have to be willing to do and say the hard things to lead to peace. Peace in the organization that allows for authentic and transparent conversations will do wonders for your organization. Hiding the truth will only lead to resentment amongst your team, and persons feeling more isolated than united. Conflict management should include conversations that have clear opportunities for sharing and expectations for next steps. It should result in our personal growth of how we handle future situations. It should enhance relationships among those who have conflict. When your team can effectively work through their issues, they will feel empowered and part of the community you’ve built. But true communication has to be ingrained within the organizational culture. Which means there has to be a top-down and bottom-up approach to building a communication structure that will allow for effective conflict management. As leaders, here are some things to think about:

What are some ways in the future that you can better handle conflict amongst your team?
Have you asked your team how you can do better to build more effective communication between you and them?
Are you willing to hear and respond to the truth from your team, and address it?