Be the Leader You Wish You Had

Written by Corae Young

October 16th 2024

I’ve become a huge fan of listening to Simon Sinek, who has “The Optimism” podcast. He has a fresh perspective on leadership and relationships, which is oftentimes an overlooked conversation as the world continues to be more divisive and yet get smaller with advances in technology. He made a profound statement on one of his podcasts that stated “be the leader you wish you had.” It stopped me in my tracks. Oftentimes we complain about leaders we’ve had in our lives, whether it was in our work, personal, or religious settings. Sometimes we feel people don’t lead well for various reasons and we spend our time complaining about what we think they should or shouldn’t be doing. Well, I’ve been one of those people. It disheartens me to see poor leadership. There are way too many resources and professional development opportunities that are at our fingertips where having poor leadership should no longer be an excuse. But, that’s a different conversation for a different blog 😊 

But what Simon said got me thinking about my response to the situation. My response is to work on me. Even if I don’t think I’ve had great leaders “lead me,” how do I effectively lead what I am responsible for? What about the people that report to me. The people that look up to me. The circumference of influence that I have. I have learned that I need to create the right culture that’s within my own control and impact. So, I’ve started to work on my own leadership skills. I’ve started to enhance my listening by connecting with those who have done it effectively and don’t mind being honest about their setbacks. I want to be better at who I am, in preparation for more. I want to be a constructive critic of myself and have people give me constructive feedback so I can be better. 

One of the ways I’ve learned to work on me is to apologize when I’m wrong.

I know I think I’m right most of the time 😊, but when I’m wrong, own it. I have had people tell me that I apologize too much, and for them, that may be how they perceive it. But for me, I want people to hear how I acknowledge when I’ve made a mistake, made the wrong decision, misunderstood a statement and had to clarify it, etc. My apologies are genuine, and I’m learning that in leadership, that’s one of the many areas people wish they heard leaders do more.

I keep being reminded that leadership is not a title. Believe it or not, I cannot control what other people do. But, I can control me. I can control my response. I can control how I handle a situation. And even if I don’t have a title, I have a sphere of influence that I have to be accountable for. Be careful of how you handle that responsibility. Be careful of how you treat people. Be careful of how you handle the anointing and authority gifted to you. Your sphere of influence is a direct reflection of your leadership, whether good or bad. People oftentimes give back to you what you give to them.